Better Today!

I think with all the talk of Memorial Day yesterday Mom was kind of depressed and just wanted to get the dying process over with. I felt really bad and couldn't cheer her up. But you know, even with stage 4 cancer, which I guess is the last stages, she feels good, not in pain now that the shingles are pretty well gone. She tires easily and doesn't have a lot of energy, but she seems to do fine and is content with a little outing every day, then doesn't want to go out again. As sick as it sounds, I guess it would be good to have like an approximate birthday, only an approximate death day. It would probably be easier to plan your life than being unsure if you would be here a year from now or a week from now. I don't know what would be best. Today she dressed and went to church for an hour and seems to feel better.

My cousin Dennis asked her to write a little about her brother Max, which is his dad, for a family reunion. She has enjoyed thinking back to when they were young.

Cold and Windy Today

Yesterday was windy too, but it was a little warmer. We went to see Lorraine, and had a good visit. Lorraine was quite talkative so it was an enjoyable visit. Then we went to the library and got 5 books. She loves to read and reads about a book a day. We haven't gone anywhere today because it is too cold and windy. She isn't taking the medicine for the shingles and is feeling much better and is sleeping fine. In the morning she is a little sick to her stomach, but doesn't complain of anything else.

Mom feels Good

She seems to be pretty well over the shingles, so she quit taking the pain medicine for that. Cindy the hospice nurse told her to only take the new pain medicine for the cancer if she is feeling pain. She seems to be doing ok. She was going to try not taking it tonight because it makes her a little sick to her stomach. The cancer is progressing, but now that hopefully the shingles are under control, she really isn't in a lot of pain. She get's winded after walking a bit in the store and is always ready to come home and relax. Tomorrow we will go see Lorraine and go to the library. She's read 3 books she's really liked this week. Her appetite is better and she usually fixes her food in the kitchen, but like to eat alone in her room. She comes out often to visit then goes back and sleeps, watches tv or reads. We try to get out every morning for at least an hour. She loves letters and loves to write back. She loves being in control again and not having to do what the DR wants, even though he's nice. Hospice gives her the opportunity to call the shots.

Hospice

I wasn't aware there were so many different Hospice. After checking around, we decided to go to the one connected with the local hospital. The lady, Cindy, came out today. She's in her mid 50's been a nurse for 30 years, and hospice for 5. She's a big tall woman,which I felt good might be good when I need more physical help. She's not syrupy, but talks like it is, which mom likes. She will come once a week till needed more just to talk and see how things are going and if there is any change. It's nice just to have someone to call if either of us have any questions. She's changing her pain meds from what she has for shingles to one that is better help with some of her pain that may be from some of her cancers.

She's doing fine now that the shingles are under control. We went to the library today and tomorrow she gets her hair done. So far, life is good.

Mom Loves Family Visits

Mom's younger brother Frank and his wife Kathy came for a visit. It was so nice to see them. Ron picked them up and took them to see his mother Lorraine, and she recognized Frank. Les and I had to work at the temple last night so couldn't stay. But fixed dinner for them to have when they got back with Ron.

We all had a good visit this morning, then they were off to Oregon. It's finally warming up here and the flowers and trees are all in blossom. We have a call into Hospice, they are waiting to hear from the Dr., then we can get that started. I didn't realize there were several hospice groups and you interview and find one that fit your needs. I think we will probably go with the one from the local Mercy Hospital. We know someone else using Mercy Hospice and they are happy with them. We will see when they come out. My cousin Pat, the pharmacist, sent an article about Hospice, that will help me know what to ask.

Mom's Cancer Progress

I called the Dr's office today to see exactly where the cancer is, every time the Dr. would try to tell her she would change the subject. It is very fast moving. Started as cervical cancer is in bones, thyroid, adrenal glands, breasts, spine, ribs and neck. As of the pet scan taken a month ago it was at the brain, not in the brain. Who knows now. He was giving her Armidex to slow it down.

She has decided not to take it and to go on hospice. I can't blame her. I told her where the cancer is, and I think that is the wisest choice. It's hard for me because I don't want to let her go, but I know she would just continue to deteriorate and she is beyond being cured.

I don't know what care the future will bring, but I pray that whatever it is, I can do it.

John was talking about changing his babies diapers, I joked that I will probably be doing the same soon. But that's ok. It's surprising what you can do when you have to.

Doctor's Visit

We did find out among the places she has cancer is in the brain. The Dr. gave her the option of , taking a medication to slow down the cancer, then taking another pet scan in 2 months and seeing how things are going, or to go on hospice. I think she is leaning more towards hospice, because the medication doesn't cure anything.

Great Mother's Day!

Mom had a great Mother's Day and appreciated all the cards, letters, calls and gifts. Once again I think Josh Hatch out did it by giving her a new great grandson. John's close behind with a new great grand daughter a few weeks earlier.

She felt good enough to go to church. Tomorrow she goes to the Dr. so we hope to know more how things are going. The medicine she has been on has really made a difference. She is almost out of it, so I hope he will give her something else or she will renew it. I never know. We are also going to ask for hospice. After hearing from Joyce Derrickson and Linda Widerburg, who have both worked with hospice, it sounds like a good thing to do.

Finally something that works!

The new medication the Dr. gave her didn't work at first and was constipating, but thanks to Pat, that part was taken care. She has minimal or no pain which is wonderful and she is sleeping well at night and after 4 days, is back getting out a little bit each day. She didn't feel well enough Friday to get her hair done, but did today and we've even run a few errands. I understand the medication she is on is addictive, so I don't know how long she can be on it, but we go to the Dr. Monday. It's great to see her finally with out so much pain.