Choices!

Hospice asked mom if she wanted quality of life and still a little pain, or no pain. She chose no pain.
They have her on several medications including steroids and morphine, but nothing totally gets rid of the pain. She's feeling a little better though. Her bath aid came today and she survived it. Lately she has only been awake maybe 1 1/2 hrs. a day, for meals. Today she has been up a few hrs total. She eats mostly carnation instant breakfast, soups and cottage cheese and pineapple which she craves. She can't be left alone any more so I'm mostly home. Les has been good trading off while I go to the gym. I gave up working at the temple which was really sad, but he is still going. Since she still has quite a good appetite even though not much solids, I think she will be here for awhile. Her attitude is good and she's nice most of the time, just a little demanding. I need to decide what she can do for herself, so that I'm not just the maid. Gee I thought I was done with that when the teen agers moved out.

Anyway hospice has found a volunteer to come in a couple of hours a week, so I can get out a little, and our friends the Overman's have also been good to help. That will be nice.

Getting Worse

They started mom on morphine about 2 weeks ago, since then they have trippled the dose trying to get the pain down. At first that caused vomiting, but I think we have that under control . And of course she's on depends now. We finally talked her into a hospital bed, which took awhile. Her worse pain is in the back, neck and back of the head, so getting up from a regular bed hurts terribly. With the hospital bed we can get her to sitting position before she gets up. Hopefully that will be better. I think the bed comes tomorrow. I have really been feeling burnout and that I am a shut-in, which is really what I am now. I called the social worker today and he is going to get me someone to come in a few hours a week, just so we can get out of the house. Right now, Les and I can't go anywhere the same time, not even church. He starts back at the tax commission for a few months, so I wouldn't even have that. So hopefully between the hospital bed, more morphine and a little help, things will be better. Who knows how long this will go on.

More Pain

They doubled her morphine dose and hope that will counteract the pain. She went from 15ml to 30 ml a day and doubled the amount of liquid morphine she could take in between, and she can take that every two hrs as needed. I only hope that helps. It's so hard to see her in pain. Surprisingly though, I was told her appetite would decrease, but so far that isn't happening. She is now eating soup, or cottage cheese and fruit, and other mini meals in between pizza and what ever else she craves. The bath aid is working out well. She even let me curl her hair with a curling iron yesterday. She didn't feel I could do it, but I did and it turned out fine.

Better for awhile, but going down again

Mom was in excrutiating pain last Sunday, so Monday they put her on morphine. Hospice also started her with a bath aid, because mom just didn't feel she could shower anymore. The hospice nurse found several new lumps. She was still not well for a couple of days, but then seemed pretty much back to her old self. She did fine after the first couple of days with the morphine. Today, Saturday, she is nausious and not feeling well. and pretty awnrey. We will just see what tomorrow will bring.

Not Doing Well

She has started to have a lot of pain in her back and I did see a lump. She is now taking Darviset, but it isn't strong enough, so they are talking about giving her morphine. She didn't feel she could shower or that she can shower anymore, so she had a sponge bath. I told her hospice could come and bathe her and she felt that might be a good idea. She did get two bouquets of flowers over the holidays which she loves. One was from Cheri and Emilee, from aunt Norma's family, the other one was from John and Jenni. They were both beautiful and very different. I took pictures, but didn't get them on the blog yet. The flowers really perked her up.

Up and Down

We were finally able to go see Lorraine Friday. Lorraine seemed so glad to see us. The weather was good so it was a good day. Yesterday I made "Thanksgiving" dinner, since we weren't here for Thanksgiving. She felt good most of the day, but by evening she was in pain and in pain most of today, so she finally took a pain killer, made a few phone calls and went to bed early. It snowed lightly today and tomorrow she is supposed to get her hair done. I hate to take her out when it's icy, because she isn't all that sturdy. We shall see.

Please send Mom Christmas Cards!

Mom loves cards and she loves all of you and would love to hear from you. She is doing ok. She has more pain more often, but feels she can control it herself. She has had the flue and a week later diarrhea, so I haven't been able to take her to see Lorraine. We don't want her to get anyone sick , or anyone getting her sick again. She really misses seeing Lorraine. We still try to get her out when she feels up to it. Usually not more than a half an hour any more. She's been careful what she eats because of not feeling well, but she still eats a lot and often. So I guess that's a good sign. She has been looking forward to a lunch with friends she used to work with on Tuesday, so I hope she will feel up to it. Her friend Eileen has small luncheons at her home once in awhile, just so mom can see friends and get out a little.