Pictures from the funeral

Stacey took a few pictures at the funeral. Most of the first shots are random photo's. The ones of people standing in a row are my kids, then some of the casket. I couldn't figure out how to get them on my blog, so here is the website.

http://s339.photobucket.com/albums/n441/staceybish/Grandmas%20Funeral/?albumview=slideshow

Good to see my sister

I'm sure it hasn't been easy for her to travel since her husband Jim passed away a few years ago, but I'm glad she came. It was good to visit again.

Thank you!

Thanks for all the cards, emails and thoughts. It's been kind of nice connecting with some of you that I haven't heard from for a long time. Mom would have loved all the attention.

This was done by my mom's cousin's daughter Sheryl Johnson

Thank you for your thoughts on Mom

Dear Cheryl & Les

Just received the news of Aunt Blanche and it made reflect on a love and kindness she had always given. She sent me this poem that sums up my feeling.

written by Joshua Liebman

There is never life without sadness.
There is never life without pain!

If one seeks in this world for true solace,
He seeks it, forever in vain.

So when you heart comes to the sorrow
Of losing some dear one you've known
Tis the touch of God's sickle at harvest
Since he reaps in the fields he has sown.

(Was going to add it to your blog but couldn't figure it out.)

I am truly grateful for our visit last summer.

Steve, Jin, Samantha & Daniel Robinson

Grave Side Services

Graveside services will be Friday the 17th, 2pm at Terrace Lawn. Instead of flowers donate to your favorite charity.
Thanks

Blanche Hyde Udy April 12, 2009

Mother passed away today at 1:25 pm today, Easter Sunday. We were in Oregon spending Easter with Whitnie, Lindsay and families and got a call from the nursing home in Nampa about 7:30 am, so we got in the car and tried to make it home. She died about 2 hours before we got there. Friends of ours from church stopped by to see her and the hospice nurse was there with her, but our friends stayed and held her hand till she died. They said it was very peaceful and she never woke up. One of the male nurses at the hospital said " I want you to know I loved your mom and she loved compliments. She liked to give them too, but she really loved to get them." I just thought that was so cute. We donated her clothing to others that didn't have much, in the nursing home, and just brought home her personal items. It will seems strange not to go there anymore. I went twice a day everyday until this week end.

I will go tomorrow to the funeral home to make arrangements. Tentatively the funeral will be Sat.
No viewing and she put in her will Graveside services only. So we will respect her wishes. We really don't expect anyone to come from out of town, except probably some family.

She loved you all and felt your love and prayers in her time of need.

Her Choice

She isn't eating anything solid, but still drinks liquids, juices power milkshakes etc. She doesn't want to get out of bed, and sleeps except when you wake her up. She only says 3 or 4 words at a time, which we all know isn't normal for her. She has been totally off steroids, for about 10 days, and seems to be doing fine. She seems content and doesn't seem in pain. We feel she'll live till her birthday and not sure it will be much longer than that. They say men die before holidays and women after, I've noticed that through people we have known the last few years, that this seems true.

If she could pass away as peaceful as she is now, that would be good.

Not Doing Well

She still has a cold and has given up. She is on oxygen now and doesn't want to get out of bed or feed herself or anything. That would be OK if we knew she were going to die right away, but there is really no indication of that, so I have to find a way to get her to try. She seems to be depressed, but I hate to start her on anti-depressants because she take so much medication as is. They are trying to cut down on her steroids at her request, because she is so puffy. You wouldn't recognize her. Not sure what the next step will be.

How Mom's Doing

She's been in the nursing home about a week and a half. 2 of our daughters, Lindsay and Stacey, came to see her last week so it was a little hectic. Mom has adjusted pretty well. At first she wouldn't eat in the dining room. I think it made her feel old with all the older people in there. They are mostly in wheel chairs, as she is, but mentally most are OK.
She has has a cold, and when I went this morning, she had a panic attack because she couldn't breathing well with her cold and was calling for me. I got her calmed down, and they got her in a wheel chair and she was fine after that.
We were going ATV'ing today, but felt it was better to stay close. I've been over there every couple of hours and she seems to feel safe and secure now.

She now lives in Karcher Estates

Mom became so week that I just couldn't lift her anymore, and I found a very nice nursing home just a few minutes from our house. They even came and picked her up as I would have had trouble getting her into the car. She had a tear in her eye as she left, which broke my heart, but once she got there and saw how nice it was and how kind the staff were, I think she was ok. I waited a few minutes so they could get her in her room first. The rooms are big and have hardwood floors and have been recently remodeled. I will be able to go there often, which will be nice.

Coming Near the End

Mom was doing fairly well last week, then Thursday she ate dinner and was watching her Spanish Soap Opera. I went to get her plate after, and she was fine. Then I went in a half hour later and I couldn't wake her up. So I covered her well in her recliner, and checked on her a few times. I had Les go in with me at 5 am to see how she was. She had such thick covers we couldn't tell if she was breathing. So I got up close to check. Her eyes popped open and she said "where am I and what am I supposed to do" Scared the crap out of me. Yesterday she was worse and only got up long enough to eat and go back to bed. Today she got up and went to the bathroom with her walker. When she sat down, she mentally and physically was gone. I had to have a neighbor help me lift her up and take her to the bedroom and get her into bed. She woke up about 3 hrs later, didn't remember a thing and wasn't making much sense. I feel that will be one of her last times out of bed, unless she makes a miraculous recovery. She can't lift her own body. She can't think much at a time, my neighbor thinks she is either having mini strokes or the cancer is amastatising in the brain, which we knew it was heading that way.

Someone needs to let Afton know now. Mom liked that she had someone that didn't know about the cancer that she could just small talk with. I don't know how much longer she can use the phone if at all. It wouldn't be fair for Afton not to know.

Not sure what our plans are just yet. If she goes soon, I don't want to put her in a nursing home, but I'm not sure how I will know that. Guess I just need to pray a lot.

Mind Better, Body Weaker

We got her a new walker and she is using it. It's metalic blue and quite fancy. She is getting weaker all the time and fell again today. She was getting ready to sit down on her chair and slid off onto the floor. She didn't seem to get hurt, but she is no help getting up. Then later she couldn't get up from her chair, so I had to help her. That happened twice so far today, which is all she has been up, so we will see tonight, when she gets up to eat. My back already hurts, so we will see how things go in the next couple of weeks, but a nursing home may be the way to go. I'll think about it and pray about it. In two weeks she will have lived with us for a year. If anyone talks to her, please don't mention the nursing home. Not even sure if that's the way to go.

Getting weaker in mind and body

She doesn't get up much at all. When she does she isn't very sturdy walking. I've tried to get her to use a walker, but she doesn't want to. I'll try to get Les to talk her into it. She get's confused at times and can't remember what she is to do, like going to bed or when it's time to eat, and what to do, like if she has pancakes, she forgets that she needs to put on butter and syrup and cut them up. She just looks at them confused and asked what to do. The back of her head seems to be hurting more but says it isn't enough to take more meds yet. This doesn't mean she won't be better next week. She always seems to bounce back.

Mom's Friends

I couldn't get these pictures up, so at first I just wrote about her friends. On the left is Eileen on the right is Kay, friends she used to work with at the bank.

OK, I don't have really tall chairs, mom has just become really little. I noticed when the rest of us were sitting, our head were way above the top of the chair. So sweet of them to come.

Mom's friends came to visit

Mother has kept in touch with people she worked with in the 60's. 2 of them came over today. Kay and Eileen and had a great visit. Mom tires easily but loved the visit. Even with steroids, her stomach is getting much bigger, and the tumor on her back is getting larger. She fell yesterday, which really scared me, but she is OK. She was getting in a cabinet and turned too quickly and lost her balance. She doesn't seem to be sore, even though she hit her cheek on a table going down. She had a red mark yesterday, but can't see it today. She still eats 5 times a day, not quite as much each time as she used to and still sleeps a lot.

It's wonderful having a sitter and getting out once in awhile. Mother enjoys the company. Someone new to tell her stories to and show her drawings, books etc.

Got Help

I was beginning to feel like the old movie "Groundhog's Day" where everyday Bill Murray woke up and it was Groundhog's Day again. My life is the same day after day after day, and I wasn't getting out or Les and I able to do anything together. I hired a registered nurse to stay with mother a couple of evenings a week and a few hours on Saturday. She has just started and it has been wonderful to get out again. We still can't leave to visit family which is kind of sad and I haven't started back to the temple, but still we can go out together so that's a great help. Mom seems to be doing better, but in order to keep the pain down she has to be highly medicated and I worry about leaving her alone.

She was alert enough to call her old hairdresser that did her hair years ago when she lived in Boise, and asked if he would come here and give her a perm, and he did. She looks and feels much better so I'm glad for that. Then I wonder if I could leave her alone for a few hours at a time. I just don't know. I guess I will wait and see how things go. In the mean time I will keep the sitter. I'll keep you posted.

Mom's doing better, don't know how she does it!

Carol and her mother Mildred came to visit mom and cut her hair. That just seemed to perk her up and she seems to be doing better and not in so much pain. I don't know how she does it! Just when you think it's about the end, she perks up! Never as good as before. I notice a real difference in her voice. She is taking several different medications so is often a little "hi", but her appetite is back and she is awake probably 5 or 6 hrs a day. She does go to bed at 6 and sleeps till about 8 or 8:30. I think many of us are envious of that. I do have a monitor in her room now so in case she has problems she can call me or I can hear if anything is out of the ordinary.

Choices!

Hospice asked mom if she wanted quality of life and still a little pain, or no pain. She chose no pain.
They have her on several medications including steroids and morphine, but nothing totally gets rid of the pain. She's feeling a little better though. Her bath aid came today and she survived it. Lately she has only been awake maybe 1 1/2 hrs. a day, for meals. Today she has been up a few hrs total. She eats mostly carnation instant breakfast, soups and cottage cheese and pineapple which she craves. She can't be left alone any more so I'm mostly home. Les has been good trading off while I go to the gym. I gave up working at the temple which was really sad, but he is still going. Since she still has quite a good appetite even though not much solids, I think she will be here for awhile. Her attitude is good and she's nice most of the time, just a little demanding. I need to decide what she can do for herself, so that I'm not just the maid. Gee I thought I was done with that when the teen agers moved out.

Anyway hospice has found a volunteer to come in a couple of hours a week, so I can get out a little, and our friends the Overman's have also been good to help. That will be nice.

Getting Worse

They started mom on morphine about 2 weeks ago, since then they have trippled the dose trying to get the pain down. At first that caused vomiting, but I think we have that under control . And of course she's on depends now. We finally talked her into a hospital bed, which took awhile. Her worse pain is in the back, neck and back of the head, so getting up from a regular bed hurts terribly. With the hospital bed we can get her to sitting position before she gets up. Hopefully that will be better. I think the bed comes tomorrow. I have really been feeling burnout and that I am a shut-in, which is really what I am now. I called the social worker today and he is going to get me someone to come in a few hours a week, just so we can get out of the house. Right now, Les and I can't go anywhere the same time, not even church. He starts back at the tax commission for a few months, so I wouldn't even have that. So hopefully between the hospital bed, more morphine and a little help, things will be better. Who knows how long this will go on.

More Pain

They doubled her morphine dose and hope that will counteract the pain. She went from 15ml to 30 ml a day and doubled the amount of liquid morphine she could take in between, and she can take that every two hrs as needed. I only hope that helps. It's so hard to see her in pain. Surprisingly though, I was told her appetite would decrease, but so far that isn't happening. She is now eating soup, or cottage cheese and fruit, and other mini meals in between pizza and what ever else she craves. The bath aid is working out well. She even let me curl her hair with a curling iron yesterday. She didn't feel I could do it, but I did and it turned out fine.

Better for awhile, but going down again

Mom was in excrutiating pain last Sunday, so Monday they put her on morphine. Hospice also started her with a bath aid, because mom just didn't feel she could shower anymore. The hospice nurse found several new lumps. She was still not well for a couple of days, but then seemed pretty much back to her old self. She did fine after the first couple of days with the morphine. Today, Saturday, she is nausious and not feeling well. and pretty awnrey. We will just see what tomorrow will bring.